More than ever, I hear stories upon stories about marriage shams. Individuals wanting to marry find themselves in dilemma and take the chance or settle for arranged marriage. Feeling they have no alternative, they agree to travel to their motherland and marry a complete stranger. In spite of the many horror stories of marriage shams as an entrance into North American, many choose to take this risk, but why? I only have one question to ask them- is it worth the risk!

It is understandable that the need for a spouse and a family would be the main factor in taking such a dramatic decision. Not forgetting the pressures of the relatives and friends constantly remaindering you of your age. Theses in combination overshadow the rational judgment of the person. Sadly, in spite of being married one can still be single. However, not many want to face the facts but ask the following questions before leaping:

· Why would a complete stranger want to marry you?
· Are you opening yourself up to hurt and humiliation later on?
· Do you truly believe that your "to be mate" does not have an agenda of their own?
· Are you strong enough and ready to face your worst nightmares of conspiracy, betrayal, deception, and infidelity?
· Are you prepared to take those risks?

Unfortunately, the era where the successful rate of arranged marriage has diminished as time has changed. Do you really think your mediators know the stranger you are going to marry? Can they guarantee the character and the true intentions of the marriage? Is the word of the mediator reliable, trustworthy and are you willing to put your life in their hands. Regrettably, it is a primitive concept hidden with alternative motives and schemes. Remember that people are willing to do anything to escape from third world country as they are influenced by the media and pop culture. They are attracted to the western lifestyle and a society far different from theirs. To better their lives no matter what the cost is, even if it is the life of another. To conspire and manipulate for their own benefit until they sccceed. However, one might find a person who is honest and genuine. For some individuals, they might find their soul mate and everything turns out great for them.

The most important is you and your well-being. If you decide to take the risk, prepare yourself to face the embarrassments and humiliations in discovering that your spouse used you to enter North America. Are you able to live with yourself knowing that you could have prevented all of this but you chose otherwise? Do you have the resiliency to take control of your life after being bombarded with emotional pain, psychological stress, depression and low self-esteem? We know that marriage never comes with a guarantee but are you deliberately putting your self in arms way. Your life and happiness should be more important than pleasing parents and families. Think twice before you leap - is it really worth the risk?