Updated: Tuesday, January 3, 2006 1:10 PM

Welcome to Archy's Cavern

Here you will find a few of my thoughts, views and opinions. Composed feelings and emotions. They aren't exactly poetry since it does not rhyme so take a peek but just be wary I'm only speaking what's on my mind.

HALT

My life is not my own
As my dreams and hopes aren't too
I'm halted from moving forward
Thus, here I stand a still

A poor choice I once made
And still I reap today
Neither pardon nor empathy does lie
In their cold and stone of a heart
Thus, here I stand a still

For no justice resides
As I'm refused to live my own life
Halted, not an inch to move forward
Thus, here I stand a still

A country of freedom we do recite
But why it's not for me, this I can't decide
For if you see a criminal accused
They have more rights than I
Does receive a fair hearing and trial
Even pardoned on conduct and does less time
Yet, here I stand a still on the side

I pondered the thought of these rights one obtained
It's to protect those who have been falsely arraigned
For an innocent should not pay for another's offense
Lest our system fail and an err is made
Imagine the media and shame?
But I an innocent halted and set aside

So, this is what I say to a country where freedom resides
A good citizen I've been not a criminal am I
Yet even so no justice is by my side
In honor and patriotic I stood for I thought
No country could be as fair and as great as mine
Am I wrong to think as so?
For thus, here I stand a still

A victim I have been already, suffering day and night
And what I thought was impossible
I did make possible, I took it one day at a time
Trying to put the past behind
But my dreams was once more tossed aside
For the past was lurking, knocking outside

Halt they said to me for money is all they see
Letters and phone calls I receive reminding me that
No hearts and feelings are there for me
But if only they would see a real person I be
Someone who seeks help, compassion
Care and to be finally set free

Thus, I remain at a halt for the past I must overcome.

PAIN

I remember that night so vividly
We had talked all night and when
I fell asleep, I didn't know
But then abruptly I was awaken
The pain was severe, unbearable

I found him on top of me and he held me down
His eyes were so cold; there were no signs of love
Or even mercy for me, if only I had known
How defenceless, feeble and so frail a woman
I was, so weak to not save myself

One thrust is all it took for him, to deflower
To bring death to my whole being
My heart fell into pieces as my life flashed
Before my eyes, all my dreams and hopes just
Faded aside, for my life now was not my own

Could a man be so vile, especially the one I trusted
He brought so pain yet acted as no wrong was done
Disregarded, hurt and so betrayed by him
An un-thoughtful act brings so much shame
Am I now to blame for his sinful ways?

A shower he took and then hateful words came
Not a woman of chaste is what he claimed
So bitter and cruel, I would never have thought
These few words were as daggers in my heart
But he continued his endless claims as he said
The first man he was not

The tears just flowed like the river, the storm in my heart
As I heard his spewed and venom thoughts
A woman of moral and value was I truly not
Why then dare this vile man accuse otherwise
To have been blemished and or stained

For I dreamed of my mate and my wedding night
Which now because of his evil act were never to be reclaimed
Yet here he stood and accused me of so
As money, he threw to degrade me more

Now those hateful words haunt me still
And here I wonder will just ever prevail
Am I to blame for this disgrace, this shame?
Have I not endured enough sorrow and heartache?

A life of happiness am I not entitled
To have rule over my own life, not
To have my dreams once again set aside
Would I never be free of this misery?
All these anguish and pain.

DAYS GO BY

The days go by, the weeks and years do too
The seasons change as quickly as people do
If I had one wish, I would turn back time
To that very moment that transformed my life

From happy days to all this sad and awful times
It's all I remember in the years that passed on by
So don't be fooled is all I want to say for
These smiles are fake and my laughs are too

So, when you gaze into my eyes it's nothing
But a darkened cave and clouds that you'll find
A shattered life with so much sorrow and pain
And if you dare to look deeper, a broken and
Hindered heart is what you will find

I am but one woman and I ask for not much
Just a few tender words and some understanding too
For all the sorrow I've already been through
Don't you think since then I've paid my dues

Oh I curse the day that I met that man who
Took everything not to leave any chance
To escape from all this heartache and pain
So here I stand as still the days go by, is
Anyone listening to what's on my mind

IF ONLY

If only I had not met him
If only I had not trusted him
If only I wasn't so young, naive and dumb
If only I knew, he was such scum
If only I knew what a creep, he was
Such different things I would have done

If only I could turn back time
If only the pain could be numbed
If only I could change my life
If only all this could be undone
So that laughter and joy would only stay
As the pain would fade away

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My life is not my own As my dreams and hopes aren't too I'm halted from moving forward Thus, here I stand a still A poor choice I once made And still I reap today Neither pardon nor empathy does lie In their cold and stone of a heart Thus, here I stand a still

My life is not my own
As my dreams and hopes aren't too
I'm halted from moving forward
Thus, here I stand a still

A poor choice I once made
And still I reap today
Neither pardon nor empathy does lie
In their cold and stone of a heart
Thus, here I stand a still